So right now...

I'm trying to plan my next step, i'm sick of just feeling down and sorry for myself. The whole idea of this blog is to inspire me and others to take up and journey to better their lives for theirselves and their baby's. I know I have made mistakes in the past, one of which is growing inside of me right now, i'm not happy that i'm pregnant, it's not my ideal situation, it wasn't planned and i'm not promoting it at all. I don't think I love this baby, just not yet anyways. I wish that I wasn't pregnant all together, that I didn't have to make these choices and change my life so drastically. But I am, and it has put things into perspective, for one having James out of my life I now think i'm a stronger more independant person. I think I will finally believe in myself and have courage to take chances and look into the future. I'm going to continue with school, I will graduate, baby or no baby. I will give this baby the best possible start by finding a job, giving up drinking/smoking and just being toally and completly there for it. As I said before it's been a month of feeling sorry for myself, this isn't going away so I might as well shape up, step up, and do my best to make the most of this situation